Updated: Apr 1, 2019
A Holistic Approach
It was Albert Einstein who said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
That was me losing and gaining, losing and gaining, losing and gaining the same 10–30 pounds year after year, ever since high school. You name the diet, I’ve been on it: low-carb-high-fat, low-fat-high-protein, plant-based-two-shakes-a-day, the hcg diet, one-meal-a-day, (yeah-that-one-too) and the I’ve-done-it-all-before diet. I'd start each new diet with the best intentions. And sometimes I even achieved my goal. I'd feel good. Confident. Proud of myself. Trouble was, most of the diets weren't sustainable. Eventually, the weight would find it's way back to my body.
Worse, was how I felt about myself. I'd lose confidence. I felt like a failure. I felt as if I didn't really love myself. Here's a list of just some of the words that could've described my life long relationship with my body and my attitudes toward food:
Words matter. Words have energy. Our thoughts, our feelings, our physicality, everything is energy. And every word we say matters. I was eating my meals with a side of my words and thoughts. Digesting feelings of guilt and fear, anxiety and stress, along with a helping of sadness with my food. That can't be a good thing.
I walked out of the house and into the world vibrating everything but happiness. I may have thought I was happy, but I wasn't. How could I be feeling happy if I was feeling unforgiving and judgmental of myself and everybody else?Without even knowing it, I was living my life from a place of fear: fear of being fat, fear of being unlovable, fear of being judged, fear of making the wrong choices.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is quoted as saying that “There are essentially only two human emotions, love and fear.”
When I chose love my life changed.
After I made this choice, I realized that many of my friendships with women hadn't been based on love, but on competition. I had friends who gossiped about our other friends. As I fell more in love with loving myself and others, I stopped gossiping and those friendships began to dissolve. This created space for the women in my life now. We don't gossip. We lift each other up. We aren't competitive or jealous. There are no snipes. (As I write, I realize that if I were my former self reading this I'd be judging every word and I'd probably dismiss the whole thing as BS. I'm relieved to say I'm not that person anymore).
There are more powerful side effects to choosing love. I began to unwind. To relax. To let go of grudges I'd been holding onto. The more I let go, the more space I created in my life. Space for new ideas, new business ventures, new relationships. The relationships I began to develop were more fulfilling than ever before! Even my smile is heartfelt, more authentic now. I have connected on a profound level to my Dharma and I live a more empowered life, grateful for everything, even the obstacles that I come upon. Now, I view obstacles as opportunities that are there as "course corrections” to guide me and help me grow in my capacity for love, happiness and more growth and to listen to my inner voice even more.
AND, I know releasing 32 pounds from my body is a side effect of choosing love and of loving myself!
Falling in love with yourself is a holistic process.
Here are 6 steps to help you feel more and more love for yourself and reap the benef
Write it out. Journaling is a game changer. "There is a ton of evidence out there on the outcomes of journal writing therapy and overall this evidence points to its effectiveness in helping people identify and accept their emotions, [and] manage their stress . . . " Sometimes you'll turn toward your journal with an agitation that you can't identify and it will be in the writing where you can pin point what you're feeling. As you write and emotions arise, notice where in your body you carry them and feel into those parts. Ride the wave as it moves through you, knowing, "And this too shall pass." And it will. It's when we ignore these emotions, push them back down that they stay with us. Instead, imagine you have achieved what you want: love, abundance, good health, vitality. How do you feel as you imagine this? Write those words in your journal. Words like joy, freedom, exhilaration. Try writing in your journal every morning. And take note of the miracles that unfold in your life as you do!
Be Still. There are so many benefits to stillness and quiet. And yet it took me a long time to embrace meditation. Meditation is a process of steeping into yourself. Of noticing. Of allowing. Of being gentle with yourself. Of letting your thoughts come into your mind and allowing them to float back out again. Like clouds. It’s a practice of allowing. Allowing emotion to rise in your body, allowing yourself to feel it and allowing it to dissipate. Meditation will teach you to witness yourself and to accept yourself. It’s a game changer. Through meditation that you will uncover your true self, your inner voice, and your inner guide. Meditation will is the key to changing your thoughts and actualizing what you want in your life.
Listen In. Once you uncover your inner voice, listen to it! This will change your life! It is in this listening we find clarity and direction. You will find your true purpose. Your Dharma. Dharma is the seventh spiritual law of success and In his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams Deepak Chopra writes: “Everyone has a purpose. . . a unique gift or special talent to give to others. . . we are each here to ‘discover our true Self, . . . and that essentially we are spiritual beings that have taken manifestation in physical form.” When you discover your dharma, you will also discover your inner strength and a sense of empowerment. You will stop looking outside yourself for answers that you know reside within. And you will find that you treat yourself with a newfound love and respect.
Go On A Cleanse. Not a FOOD CLEANSE. Cleanse yourself of the toxic thoughts. Nicolas Tesla said “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration” It's worth repeating: Everything is energy. Our thoughts are energy. Every thought you have has it’s own vibrational signature. Thought waves have their own frequency, like gamma waves or radio waves. According to Dr. Habib Sadeghi our thoughts are “so powerful that they don’t just create your body, but every situation you bring into your life. This includes your finances, relationships, health . . ." Change your thoughts, change your feelings change your body, change your life.
Forgive yourself and Release Judgment. Gabby Bernstein writes, “The promise of Forgiveness is the freedom from the bondage of judgment and attack. It bridges your fear back to love and restores your connection to the love of the Universe. You are relinquishing fear and remembering love when you forgive. . ." And Caroline Myss says “Until you surrender the need to know why things happened to you as they did, you will hold on to your wounds with intense emotional fire." That emotional fire is you holding onto anger. Forgiveness isn't condoning bad behavior in another person, but instead you're freeing yourself from the anger so that YOU FEEL BETTER. When you carry resentment, anger, and judgment you are carrying fear, which doesn’t serve you or your body. When you are able to forgive you’ll FEEL lighter in your mind, your soul and your body!
Practice Patience. An important way of expressing self love is patience. Don't be in such a rush. Life is a journey. Enjoy the journey starting NOW. Be easy on yourself. Don't try to be perfect. You already are perfect. Perfectly Imperfect!